Carrots Infinitum

Dangling carrot and plodding donkey. An indelible image of American folklore. It’s easy to laugh at and pity the donkey. Eyes glazed over, dimwitted. If he were more clever, he might stop and lunge at the carrot, chomping away. Then surely he would be happy. More clever still,  he might stand his ground until the ante was upped. He might know he is easily worth 5 carrots and could have them orbiting his face like an infant’s mobile. Yet even with an armada of carrots for him to chase and eat to his heart’s delight, even then we would never envy the donkey. Not as a human, nor as a fellow donkey. With that many carrots we may wonder how he would know the proper direction to go in, each enticing him down a different path. And he wouldn’t. Couldn’t. He’d start and stop in spurts, frustrating his witless driver, wearing himself down with his burdensome load. Never reaching his destination. A donkey blessed with consciousness (exceedingly rare, to my knowledge) might contemplate his situation and wonder why he dedicates his life to a cycle of unrelenting pursuit. Why he subjects himself to a constant state of strain. Between us and the donkey, only one has the capacity and opportunity to reflect on this observation and the autonomy to make a change. For many people, between us and the donkey, none of us do. Allegedly, only one of us is the ass. 

American high school and university students are exceedingly familiar with this masochistic merry go round. The carousel whirls through a deep roster of lures - SATs, college applications, midterms, finals, all-important internships, the impossibly significant first job. Each time, the students coax themselves into a battle-ready state with the best persuasion job they can muster. They force themselves to train their gaze only on the peak ahead, forbidding any glances at the steep climb between, casting out any thoughts of growing weariness. “Once I’m there, that’s when I’ll relax. That’s when I’ll enjoy.” is the mantra that carries the day. 

For periods of our lives, this mindset is helpful - even invaluable. The ability to hunker down and live in a state of heightened stress and tension while chasing down a goal or dream can dramatically boost chances of success and accelerate timelines. The sneaky trap is that over time, though this mindset can bring prolonged success, it also induces increased reliance and reduces ability and desire to examine the big picture, to determine if the chase is even worthwhile to begin with. To the tunnel-visioned individual with a hammer, every problem is a nail, and they’d never stop to consider if there might be better ways to spend their life than pounding away. 

The college student riding this mentality all the way to a lucrative first job has difficulty finding a complaint. They’ve only been rewarded time and time again. The countless nights studying in library basements until morning, forgoing parties with friends, enduring constant feelings of stress and inadequacy - it's always turned out to be worth it. At least, until the glow faded and the stress of clearing the next hurdle creeped in. In any case, their expectation was alway for the cycle to end once they were out in the real world working. Real job in hand, exams and applications in the rearview mirror, that was to be the promised land. The time to relax and permanently kick off the stresses and burdens. To turn a blind eye to the carrots dangled by themselves and others, keeping them charging furiously in a particular direction. 

What they, and most of us, have come to realize is that instead of the number of allures dwindling, they multiply. Promotions, hobbies, side businesses, new jobs - the gilded path with delineated milestones may be gone, but in its place is a panoramic field of shiny objects. Each desirable, unique, and nontrivial to obtain. The operating system of deferring contentment and relaxation automatically kicks in again. But now, we’re pulled in a hundred different directions with no foreseeable end to the climb. The mentality of deferring gratification serves us greatly at certain points in our lives, and is undeniably a powerful tool. Given a life of its own, it becomes a draining force. 

At some point, contentment became inherently labeled a vice by society, leading to a generation of relentless young adults more productive than any that came before them, yet simultaneously more unhappy, conflicted, and oddly apathetic. Lessons to avoid laziness and sloth were interpreted to mean “all the time, and for the rest of your life.” Existing in that headspace constantly is mentally and emotionally exhausting. The ever present strain feels like a regular sedan pushed to full throttle at the 48 hours of Le Mans. An earnestly commendable spectacle, but not at all the intended design. A rope stretched taut, fraying fraying fraying, until it unravels. 

Striving and achievement are major sources of purpose and meaning in life. They’re the backbone of many careers and a great motivating force behind passions, hobbies, and fitness. Just the same, leisure and quality time constitute the idyllic chapters of life. They’re the moments that are most fondly and easily recalled, matched only by the greatest achievements. Yet the ratio of time spent and energy dedicated does not reflect this ratio. Small spurts of leisure interspersed through lengthy periods of labor. Sometimes the labor is imperative, but the crushing mindset is not. We would be well served to learn to compartmentalize and hone the ability to throttle the intensity up and down. Rather than humming along at a constant 7 level of work stress and drive, grinding the engine gears to dust, we can oscillate between a 10 and a 0 over shorter, regular time intervals. We can depose the embattled mindset in favor of   a more flexible one, game to sprint for stretches and sprawl for others in shorter patterns, whether over the course of a day, week, or month. Not settling for continually deferred contentment, instead deliberately creating room for it. Between us and the donkey, one of us has the ability to dictate the cadence of labor and relaxation. It shouldn’t be both of us plodding forever along, chasing dangling carrots.